It’s never too late to have a happy childhood

Its never too late to have a happy childhood

First published 27 July 2016

Neuro-linguistic Programming or NLP can be used to assist people to release the negative impact of childhood trauma or memories that are still creating patterns in the present.   We come into the world with an innocence that changes as we experience the world around us and the connections and meaning we give to those events.  Something that happened to you as a small child may still have a massive impact on your life today, in fact, you many even feel that it is holding you back from your true potential as your past has such a strong hold on you.  You just want to let this go once and for all and go on with your life and enjoy the present.

NLP can be used to go back to past events and bring away a different meaning than the one created at that time.  It assists to reframe the situation.  It can recreate the memory as a new memory.  Each time we remember a memory, the very process of recalling the memory changes that memory, so using this fact we can change that memory for the better.  Have you ever experienced a situation when you are recounting past memories with a friend or family member and their recollection is totally different from your own?  We all have different filters and frames through which we see the world and each one is different, so every rendition of the same event will be slightly different or completely different.

We focus on what we don’t want, more than what we do.  We remember the bad things more than we remember the good things, so we can go back and look for evidence of the good things that were also going on at that time and refocus our energy in these areas rather than on the negative.

From these past events and meanings and connections that we have made in the brain we will re-run these patterns over and over and experience these same feelings throughout our adult life and unbeknown to us each occurrence has added to the same feelings until they accumulate to a breaking point.  The event that creates the breaking point may not even be that big but it was the straw that broke the camel’s back.

Road rage is a good example of this.  Do you really think that the driver of the car is angry about the road conditions or how you, or someone else, is driving or is it part of a bigger issue that that person has carried anger inside them for a long time, which could have started back in childhood and has grown until it has developed to a rage and then one day explodes?

These patterns will continue to repeat until they are interrupted and are replaced with new patterns or behaviours.  This is where NLP comes in.  NLP techniques give quick results and can be reinforced with life coaching techniques to assist you to identify issues and find new thinking patterns and behaviours that work for you to get you more of what you want in life, not more of what you don’t want.

Are you ready to break the cycle?  Do you know someone else who is?  If so share this post or take action and see how your life can be transformed with NLP and life coaching.

Baby Steps, Changing Old Patterns

Baby Steps, Changing Old Patterns

First published 30 June 2016

Neuro-linguistic programming (NLP) is about patterns and behaviours that we adopt from an early age.

When we were small we looked at our adult role models and imitated what they did to develop our skills, both motor skills and intellectual skills. We watched them and copied. They were walking, we started to try and at first we would crawl and drag ourselves around and every now and then we would muster up the strength and determination to attempt our first step. The result? We hit the ground, it was difficult, it was the first time after all. What did we do? Did we sit on our backside and quietly say to ourselves, that hurt I’m not doing that again or did we have a few tears, possibly chuckle to ourselves (even back then we were all different) and get back up and try again?

Imagine if we just sat there and thought, well that hurt I’m never going to do that again and stayed on the floor? We laugh, but think about some of the things that you are doing right now. Are there things that you have found difficult so given up on even though you want it more than anything? Fear can paralyse us, yet when we were a toddler we didn’t have that concept of fear to hold us back.   Think about some things right now that you would like to change and ask is the fear worth the price of what you could achieve if you could lose that fear and take your first step?

Of course, in time as youngsters we learned fear as well, after all we are copying our role models right? So whatever fears and limiting beliefs that our role models had we have either consciously or unconsciously adopted. We trusted that their fears worked for them, so they must work for us too, right?

There comes a point in time when we realise we are back down there on the floor and we are finding it difficult to get back up. Look at what fear might be holding you back and limiting your potential. Have you unwittingly taken on some of the beliefs and behaviours of your earlier role models that no longer serve you? How can you change these limiting beliefs or behaviours to get you to where you want to go?

As a toddler did you think when you hit the ground, how embarrassing I hope no-one noticed? No because it was a natural thing to do as it is still sometimes for us to hit a low. Life is ups and downs, it’s how we ride the wave that matter, so work on your bounce. When you hit the floor get up quickly, dust yourself down and hope that no-one noticed and if they did work it, own it, it’s what makes us human.

The 4 Ps for Peak Performance

4 Ps for Peak Performance

First published 3 May 2016

Peak Performance = Passion + Power + Persistence + Patience

Passion

When we are aligned with what drives us; our passion, it is easy to do what is needed to be done to get to where we want to be. We are driven to accomplish these things in our life. We only need motivation when we have to do something that does not align directly with our passion.

How easy is it to jump out of bed and do something that you are truly passionate about, compared to something that you have to do, but don’t really want to do it?

“Where attention goes, energy flows.” (James Redfield). Our mind focuses on what we give importance to and if we focus on what we are passionate about, it is virtually effortless to follow through.

The key here is to find an alignment with our passion even if it is indirect. If I accomplish this task then it brings me one step nearer to my real goal.

Power

Put some power behind your intention. “Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you’ll land among the stars.” (Norman Vincent Peale). If you want to only achieve 10% of what you are capable of then put in only 10% effort, if you want the whole 100% then drive it home. Put in the time, effort and commitment to make it happen. It is easier to complain that it wasn’t our day, our time, we didn’t have this or that. Get serious, if you want it it’s there for the taking. There’s no time like the present.

Persistence

We have all heard the saying, if at first you don’t succeed, try and try again. We may not be successful the first time we attempt something new or are trying to motivate ourselves to do something that we do not want to. Those who persist with eventually prevail. You cannot prevail if you give up at the first hurdle. Remind yourself again of why you are doing this and the rewards of accomplishing your goals. Visualise and mentally rehearse the end game right now and keep your eye on that vision. If you have a bad day, that happens to us all, pick yourself up and pick up your pace the day after. Keep on showing up day after day until your vision becomes a reality.

Patience

This takes, of course, patience. You cannot plant a seed and demand that it grows quicker, even if you give it plenty of water and sunlight, it will grow in its own time and keep looking at it every half hour does not help either. Cultivate the art of patience. As the saying goes, everything comes to those that wait. Do all that you can and then trust that your efforts will be rewarded.

At the peak of passion, when you are truly inspired, seize the moment and act. Use your power to fuel your passion and persistence and patience to follow it through.